I'm wondering...

There are numerous of time that "I'm wondering..." session~ lol
Or, there are some times that "What if..." though inside my mind as well 
It's fun to think about these two thoughts before bed time, but its a NO no because it makes you unable to sleep tight.

There are some people who always on my mind that I can't reach, yet I know where are they.
There are a few people who always shakes my feeling that I can't accept their feelings, yet I know I need them.
There are even no people who always know my weakness that I want to get rid of, yet I am looking for this person.

I believe, weakness will makes us stronger, but what if it is not? 
I'm wondering will there be any person able to be there for me when I'm weak.

I can't ask for more, because I got to accept the feelings that have been expressed to me and the price to pay is high...

I might not able to get what I always dream for, so I always think about what if... and I'm wondering...

There will be no person who will be able to understand me, but I know there will be a person who will be able to pats on my shoulder and say "Hey, you got me"

Time is running out.. I'm still wondering why am I choosing this path, and I'm wondering how my path would be... What if I'm going to another path... What if I choose to remaining in this path...

I'm looking for the one, who always and able to carry me around with the hug that can express the feeling of "Hey, you got me..."

I must be dreaming!

-The End-

Where are you..?

Have you ever wonder where is the person you have been looking for?
Is it your fate or you have the choice to decide your fate?
It's really difficult to find one and another because it's how it should be difficult.  
That's why the person can be so much precious for you and even more than yourself.
I have been waiting,  and searching the beautiful one like him. The him who I dont know who he is.
Can we do our common interest together?

I am tired, wanted to give up now... where are you...?

Dead Post!

Gosh! I can't believe myself did not update my blog for so long! Nu.....! I can't stop thinking about writing post! Well, the reason I stop update my blog is because many people feedback that my English grammar is very poor. I find it is hard to write a good English, but luckily the all the posts that I wrote before can be read and understand by you, thank you so much for putting a lot of effort reading my post!

I'm getting better in working at a new environment since last year, yup... LAST YEAR in 2013 =D Also went to Bangkok, Thailand to shopping! Went to Taipei, Taiwan to experience fireworks while new year eve! The most excite moment is... I was back to Seoul, Korea! Seriously! I'm going back there the 3rd time! Now I'm planing to go back to Seoul for the 4th, 5th 6th.... infinity times if my boss allow me to utilize holiday!

Now I'm suffering in decision making... Well I really looking for my another half which able to share the same interest with me, always make me smiles and uplift me. I always thinking, would there be anyone who always share with me photography sessions, play games with me, explore good food with me, enjoy coffee with me, travel with me, workout at gym with me, watch movie with me... At the moment, I can't find one... Its hard to find the 'him', isn't?

So I choose to stay single, and to be with my family and friends! Hopefully can find the 'him' soon! <3 br=""> I'm planing to go back to Seoul again this end of the year! If any of you are going, please don't mind to let me know. I will see if we can meet in this lovely country xD 

 

No different!

I'm enduring it since the beginning of the year until now, no changes has been made! No improvement, no advancement, no increment, no betterment! I know that this is not what I want!
I appreciate it, treasure it, work it, hardship it but still unable to get rid of it!
Please! Don't label me! I'm just working to get my pay to live my life! When I work harder than what you pay to me, I didn't make any complaint! I try my very best to make it happen in a good result, but just because of my education background, just because of my admiration, just because of passion towards a person who were my mentor, you ruining my reputation and performance terribly with your horrible jealousy. Don't you myself got nothing to do but so free to let you torture?! Oh please! If you never change, this environment will be no different at all after you came for so long! I don't trust you anymore! Your actions has proved how good you are!

The January 2012 of Mine

Yes, now is in the mid of January.
From 1st to 15th I have went trough a lot... WTF only 15 days of the year 2012!
Serious! Omg, what I need to do is continue to fight!
Only 15 days - non working days = I HAD WORK FOR SO HARD AND YET HE IS ENJOYING HURTING ME!
If without my team mates and my manager, I would had gone from this very extremely good company and would have say bye to good people and say farewell to good customers.
Work, is always with stress and difficulties, challenges, people, socialism... This isn't hard because this is a must to be completed with an outstanding performance!
Now I'm struggling with people who oversensitive, never appreciate, enjoy plotting and badmouthing everything on what I did that he is suppose to lead me but instead he is destroying me...
15 days in January I'm still living in hell, barely climbing up from the level 18th hell to level 17th =.='
Dear father who is living in the heaven and GOD bless me please... I wanted to continue to fly with colors! I don't want to believe with him to destroy me would have so easily, I want to be brave and fight back!!!

My summary...

There, 2011 is coming to an end...

My rating oh no... my evil manager and director rated my this year performance 2.7 out of 5!!!

Tsk! WTH!

I've worked so hard, accepted all new task assigned, me without experience I knew very well myself has achieved more than the suck rating score!

I love my company so much and why it came two gorillas ruined my stage >.> Bless you~ in the other way round xD

Oh well...

I'm not suppose to give my 100% all into my career! >>>> My next year solution yahoo!

Well, god knows how I loved my job =)

But true, this year has given my the greatest challenge ever...

I've to say sorry to anyone who have hurt by me in this year....

I've to say I love you to anyone who love me in this year...

I've to say I miss you to someone who I've missed to talk to this year...

See, this is how I've wasted my time in 2011... *sigh*

Anyhow, I need to continue my path that I've chosen since last year until next year.

Hopefully people who surrounding me will continue to give me support and I can continue to be better...

Sorry 2011, I'm such a failure and yes! I will do my best for 2012!

Am I?

I was so excited whenever my alarm is waking me up, telling me it is time to work!
However this doesn't last long for me...
Nowadays, whenever my alarm is waking me up, I feel like "Argh! I Don't want to go to the field!"
I clearly know why my feeling towards my beloved office, has fade away.
Because, my bosses lost the faith on me and so do I...
They judge, no! They didn't judge but their narrow mind set judged me. It slowly and unconsciously pulling me away from my performance stage.
Just because of my innocent actions that made a few misunderstanding in between us. Which I personally though that my boss should have trust me in a way, that I am working with him, team up with him and he is my boss, he is with me, together we reach the goals that given by our boss.
After yesterday, I realized, I am not suitable to be here, this is a place that I shouldn't begin with.
I was love my job very much!
I love my team mates!
I love my bosses!
I love my company mission statement!
I love my colleagues!
I love my customers!
But, night mare didn't stop since my father past away.... Since the beginning of my new role assigned by my boss.
I have no experience, I have no chance to get a proper lead, their expectation on me is just too high just because they do not know me well, they dont know what I'm working on during the days that they have not joined company, and at the end...
Screwed up my appraisal, rating is suck until myself can't believe myself is that suck in working out my role.
I have been told that I need to learn the logical way that as a boss will think...
In my own perspective, I think that it's just because I couldn't find the logical as they said, that's why I'm still not capable to work as a management officer.
Am I wrong to have a though an actions like that?
Am I?
I didn't say anything to anybody but to talk to my own blog...
Dear blog, wish me luck! I want to fly away with colors!

It's Not My Fault When...

I was such a fool~ Work for money~ Work for live~

Work is taking a part of my daily routine about 12 hours almost everyday...

Yesterday is the day I've done my appraisal, which is the most shameful rating that I got in my life after I've been work for x time companies... WTH!

Seriously, If you do not know me, please don't rate my performance like this... I've work for so hard that no body knows and aware since I don't like to showoff!

It is not my fault when I able to finished my daily task and turn my way to back home after office hour...

It is not my fault when I didn't do overtime work when I got nothing more daily task to work with...

It is not my fault when the I didn't make showoff myself...

It is not my fault when people didn't see my strength since I didn't showoff which I don't like to do...

It is not my fault when people didn't give me a chance to maximize my performance...

So, your rating on my appraisal only will makes me sick and soon I will leave for good~

God, bless me please... Help me to get away from these evil things happened on me!

I'm just the normal human who wanted to work for live only and peace...