There are numerous times that "I'm wondering..." session~ lol
Or, there are some times that "What if..." goes through my mind as well
It's fun to think about these two thoughts before bedtime, but it's a NO-no because it makes it hard to sleep tight.
Some people are always on my mind that I can't reach, yet I know where they are.
There are a few people who always shake my sense of self and make me feel I can't accept their feelings, yet I know I need them.
There are no people who always know my weakness that I want to get rid of, yet I am looking for this person.
I believe weakness will make us stronger, but what if it is not?
I'm wondering if there will be anyone able to be there for me when I'm weak.
I can't ask for more, because I have to accept the feelings expressed to me, and the price to pay is high...
I might not be able to get what I've always dreamed of, so I always think about what if... and I'm wondering...
There will be no one who understands me, but I know there will be someone who can pat my shoulder and say, "Hey, you got me."
Time is running out. I'm still wondering why I'm choosing this path, and I'm wondering how my path would be... What if I'm going to another path... What if I choose to remain on this path...
I'm looking for the one who's always able to carry me around with a hug that expresses the feeling of "Hey, you got me..."
I must be dreaming!
-The End-
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
I'm wondering...
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Where are you..?
Have you ever wonder where is the person you have been looking for?
Is it your fate or you have the choice to decide your fate?
It's really difficult to find one and another because it's how it should be difficult.
That's why the person can be so much precious for you and even more than yourself.
I have been waiting, and searching the beautiful one like him. The him who I dont know who he is.
Can we do our common interest together?
I am tired, wanted to give up now... where are you...?
Friday, May 23, 2014
Dead Post!
Gosh! I can't believe myself did not update my blog for so long!
Nu.....!
I can't stop thinking about writing post!
Well, the reason I stop update my blog is because many people feedback that my English grammar is very poor.
I find it is hard to write a good English, but luckily the all the posts that I wrote before can be read and understand by you, thank you so much for putting a lot of effort reading my post!
I'm getting better in working at a new environment since last year, yup... LAST YEAR in 2013 =D Also went to Bangkok, Thailand to shopping! Went to Taipei, Taiwan to experience fireworks while new year eve! The most excite moment is... I was back to Seoul, Korea! Seriously! I'm going back there the 3rd time! Now I'm planing to go back to Seoul for the 4th, 5th 6th.... infinity times if my boss allow me to utilize holiday!
Now I'm suffering in decision making... Well I really looking for my another half which able to share the same interest with me, always make me smiles and uplift me. I always thinking, would there be anyone who always share with me photography sessions, play games with me, explore good food with me, enjoy coffee with me, travel with me, workout at gym with me, watch movie with me... At the moment, I can't find one... Its hard to find the 'him', isn't?
So I choose to stay single, and to be with my family and friends! Hopefully can find the 'him' soon! <3 br="">
I'm planing to go back to Seoul again this end of the year! If any of you are going, please don't mind to let me know. I will see if we can meet in this lovely country xD 3>
Monday, September 24, 2012
No different!
I'm enduring it since the beginning of the year until now, no changes has been made! No improvement, no advancement, no increment, no betterment! I know that this is not what I want!
I appreciate it, treasure it, work it, hardship it but still unable to get rid of it!
Please! Don't label me! I'm just working to get my pay to live my life! When I work harder than what you pay to me, I didn't make any complaint! I try my very best to make it happen in a good result, but just because of my education background, just because of my admiration, just because of passion towards a person who were my mentor, you ruining my reputation and performance terribly with your horrible jealousy. Don't you myself got nothing to do but so free to let you torture?! Oh please! If you never change, this environment will be no different at all after you came for so long! I don't trust you anymore! Your actions has proved how good you are!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
The January 2012 of Mine
Yes, now is in the mid of January.
From 1st to 15th I have went trough a lot... WTF only 15 days of the year 2012!
Serious! Omg, what I need to do is continue to fight!
Only 15 days - non working days = I HAD WORK FOR SO HARD AND YET HE IS ENJOYING HURTING ME!
If without my team mates and my manager, I would had gone from this very extremely good company and would have say bye to good people and say farewell to good customers.
Work, is always with stress and difficulties, challenges, people, socialism... This isn't hard because this is a must to be completed with an outstanding performance!
Now I'm struggling with people who oversensitive, never appreciate, enjoy plotting and badmouthing everything on what I did that he is suppose to lead me but instead he is destroying me...
15 days in January I'm still living in hell, barely climbing up from the level 18th hell to level 17th =.='
Dear father who is living in the heaven and GOD bless me please... I wanted to continue to fly with colors! I don't want to believe with him to destroy me would have so easily, I want to be brave and fight back!!!
Friday, December 30, 2011
My summary...
There, 2011 is coming to an end...
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Am I?
I was so excited whenever my alarm is waking me up, telling me it is time to work!
However this doesn't last long for me...
Nowadays, whenever my alarm is waking me up, I feel like "Argh! I Don't want to go to the field!"
I clearly know why my feeling towards my beloved office, has fade away.
Because, my bosses lost the faith on me and so do I...
They judge, no! They didn't judge but their narrow mind set judged me. It slowly and unconsciously pulling me away from my performance stage.
Just because of my innocent actions that made a few misunderstanding in between us. Which I personally though that my boss should have trust me in a way, that I am working with him, team up with him and he is my boss, he is with me, together we reach the goals that given by our boss.
After yesterday, I realized, I am not suitable to be here, this is a place that I shouldn't begin with.
I was love my job very much!
I love my team mates!
I love my bosses!
I love my company mission statement!
I love my colleagues!
I love my customers!
But, night mare didn't stop since my father past away.... Since the beginning of my new role assigned by my boss.
I have no experience, I have no chance to get a proper lead, their expectation on me is just too high just because they do not know me well, they dont know what I'm working on during the days that they have not joined company, and at the end...
Screwed up my appraisal, rating is suck until myself can't believe myself is that suck in working out my role.
I have been told that I need to learn the logical way that as a boss will think...
In my own perspective, I think that it's just because I couldn't find the logical as they said, that's why I'm still not capable to work as a management officer.
Am I wrong to have a though an actions like that?
Am I?
I didn't say anything to anybody but to talk to my own blog...
Dear blog, wish me luck! I want to fly away with colors!
Friday, November 11, 2011
It's Not My Fault When...
I was such a fool~ Work for money~ Work for live~
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I want to REST!
I was working hard for so long~ really long...
After I served as an employee after a year, I took a 7 days rest within 2 weeks...
and I continue to work hard, even Saturday...
I know, I'm not self-center but my physical and mental are both tired!
I can't perform anymore if I keep working like this...
I request, a reasonable one, a proper rest day with an outing with my friends...
I can't believe I got questioned like a prisoner!
Enough is enough, I work for live, is not live to work...
I didn't sell my life to you, honestly I'm still working to the best as I can!
I got pressured by customers, by boss and now you came, you too giving me unneeded pressure!
If you think that I'm not deserved it, just do whatever you like to kick me out will do.
My life is still okay even without you, please bear in mind!
Regards,
From the very disappointed worker
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Work vs Word
I choose to work, but I didn't choose to get scold.
No matter how nice the word I choose. still it can't help me with my work.
I manage my word however my word didn't work.
My work knocking me off with the word they used.
What should I do? Continue?
I admired and love TVXQ and JYJ so much!
I'm keeping myself to be strong like them!
They've been trough so many obstacles and they're still facing their new obstacles every minutes and every seconds.
Compare to them, mine is just a small stone!
I must keep my self work very well with my own word!
Fighting! Fighting! Fighting!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Where is my future?
I always wonder, how it would be if I'm doing this, if I'm doing that.
Although while being myself I will lose myself too since sometimes I'm too considerable about others, sometimes I'm too forgetful!
My schedule is about work, work, work and work.
While I'm working harder, my employer expect me to work much more harder.
Am my life suppose to be like this? I'm trying to make a change, but I was worried too much and failed to bring myself to keep the balance in between work and my rest.
Am I suppose to stop now, or I suppose to move on?
Am I suppose to accept this, or I suppose to give-out?
Am I suppose to think twice, or I suppose to go ahead without thinking?
I've lost too much of precious time on my career, however without my career I couldn't move on my life.
My goal, is to get my dreams come true and to meet my goal, I need to work!!!!
Seriously, I need a break!
Monday, June 13, 2011
难念的经。。。
人生,有很多选择。。。就是父母亲不能选,兄弟姐妹不能选。。。
Sunday, May 15, 2011
My blog... My Diary...
I though I was long forgotten about my blog, but it seems like I often coming back without update it... It's my bad that my blog has lost its use as a blog while I did not return to types some alphabets on it! iPhailed!!!
It's been, almost a year... Since I started my career path, I've abandoned my own interest;Watch anime, listen music, active in forums, update blog, drink hot chocolate, cook breakfast and many more... What a big lost while I'm doing my job passionately at the same time I forgot about my own happiness unconsciously. In another way, I learn a lot! I met a lot of peoples, I face a lot of obstacles, I went trough a lot of issues... but I enjoyed it! From colleagues to friends, from friends to family...
I was once met a bunch of crazy peoples!
~They were my best partners in 'crime' xD We laugh together, sing together, eat together, drink together, sleep together, shout together, cry together, dance together! It was fun but soon I realized that, we will change. I'm glad that we're not changed dramatically, but change for our own good sake. They were so lovely and they're now a good couple! Wish they stay happy together!
~They were my best teammates xD We were in training together, went trough test together, answer calls together, work together, complain together, share our stories together! It was fun but soon realized that, our paths are different. Luckily each of us has found our own path and continue to shine. They were so nice and sweet peoples that we went trough hardship period! Wish we will continue to shine!
~He was such a good manager to me, he leaded a brighter future to me, to let me have a good future. We were so busy and went trough a lot of our first time! First time meeting with leaders, first time training with leaders, first time organize an event together, first time became emcee together, first time succeed a promotion together! It was fun but soon it ended, he went to another place for his good sake and I continue to walk my path, continue the task that has been assigned to me since we're a team.
~My beloved father, the most important person to me in my life... He went to a place that far away from me... Up to the high sky that i cannot reach, to watch me shine... Dear father, I love you so much! Although it was only twenty years you take care of me, but for me it's an eternal and the greatest love ever! You are such a 100% good father to me! I miss you so much! Every time when I'm down, every time when I'm lost, you will appear in my mind, to tell me to be strong, continue to walk my path and to make you proud! Thank you so much father! For being someone, who love me so much, please protect me as always! Father, rest in peace... I will be here to let you watch over me...
Here was my update for whole the year, so many happening, so many changes, so many happiness and so many sadness. I guess, this is the most memorable year ever...
Now I got a new manager, and also a team mate, soon will have more team mates. However because of my lake of public relationship skill, my presence has been erased by my own team mate and my manager as well. I'm wondering, will I still able to continue the path that my previous manager has believed in me. Hope that some day my new manager will see my performance and result. I'm tired, really tired... I'm so weak that I let others to erase my presence easily. I hope I can do better...
Now I got new friends, friends that really concern about my everything, they smile and cry with me! I don't know if they will be my best friends forever, I hope they will be the one...
Now I got new interest! Swim and gym! I prefer swim though, I can wear my cute swim suit!
The end of this post, is my most terrible high fever day... I hope I will come back to update more often, not to let my blog feel lonely =)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Rainbows
I don't know if consider today is a good day for me, however I was so happy before the dawn!
While on the way to my home sweet home after a tiring day in the evening 7pm...
I saw a rainbow, which isn't rare to see since my country known as a rain forest.
Rains will never away from this place like almost daily xD
So the rains made us rainbow~^.^
Today, rainbows made my day - Happy! lol
Awkward isn't? No body makes me happy but rainbows^.^
I saw a rainbow in the sky while I was enjoying the breezy air since it's raining after a hot day...
Without hesitation, I took out my iPhone and snapped the first photo.
I viewed my photo next and found that... It's double rainbows in the photo! O.O
Though it's a reflected from a wind screen of my car... >.>
Then I look at the sky again, doubly... Is that really a double rainbows? ...? o.O
My car moving forward while I'm doubting it, oh wow! =O
A double rainbows which I never seen in my life =D
I happily and can't wait to reach home~ XP
One of the rainbow is so huge and the other is darkening before I reach home.
I was like.. Oh jesus! Let me fly to home immediately with my car! lol
Finally I reached home! I intend to share this beautiful natural scenery with my friends then my snap photos mode activated xD
While I enjoying the scenery despite the rain is falling...
The rainbows like whispering at me to tell me to stop and try to be happy...
I was thinking while seeing the rainbow slowly covered by clouds and be gone in the sky....
I really need to be glad and be appreciate every seconds, every surrounding person, scenery...
Stop for a short while, take a look around... To enjoy the beautiful of the natural^.^
Sometime, I can't help myself to walk faster, move in speed, eats, works, talks... Not the god-speed-like but it's fast compare to other people around me...
This evening, the di-rainbows made me stopped O.o
Made me felt that I was missed out many good things around me... >.>
Regretting that I didn't use the time that I had to loves everyone around me... T.T
And the night falls...
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
iPhailed
Well, I always think optimistically however... Sometime things just keep put you down again and again...
I was failed an assessment again today.
First thing, I was disappointed into myself because I didn't try my best after I looked back myself during doing the assessment.
Second, while my other assessment was segregate by leader to somebody, I heard a comment which was made me shocking!
"No no no! I don't want mark her assessment, it's a pain!"
Hell yeah, I admitted my handwriting isn't good and my explanation sucks >.>
Oh well, have to work harder! So... I continue to keep myself away from those negative comment, continued my day.
There it goes my day, finally in the evening I received a good news.
Which I got an offer by an employer, the pay is higher like 1.5 times from my current pay.
Next depressed comment that I heard while I share the so called good news to one of my sibling and I know my sibling's partner is looking for a vacancy...
"If you're interested let me know okay?" - My line =D
End up I got a reply from my sibling...
"Only that much of pay???" - =O
I, unconsciously move my way back into my room...
My godness! What a depressing day!
I realized it a long time ago, my income is nothing compare to my sibling however it's sad when I just happened to found my own sibling looked down at me.
I was embarrassed while I'm happily recommending the vacancy to the person who I wish to share the good thing with however...
._. however was put down by the person's partner a.k.a my sibling...
So tell me, how should I deal with this negative thoughts?
While I'm feeling happy is always the time my sibling to pull me down...
O.o my sibling???
I wonder... >.> I should stay alone inside my comfortable room instead though. >.<
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Kuchiki Byakuya!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Long time no see~
*Gasp* Gah~ Long time no see minna-sama xD
lol Why am I appeared at here in the first place after missing in action for so long?
Well, good question because I got nothing to do so decided to write an empty blog xD
yes, empty blog which I haven't write for sooooooooo loooooooong~ xD
Ja-ne~ Going out now XP
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Addiction to DF is killing me?! D8<
"What is DF? You're a freak! Never know you'll love this, girl!" My friend said it with his expression on his face =.=''
If you're a game freak, you'll know what's it mean~
Uh uh... What is DF? Dependent Film? Disk Free? Diet Freaks? David Fernandez? Wait! Who is David Fernandez? O.O I don't know him~
Wait... let me do this...Dependent Film, Disk Free, Dead Fantasy, Diet Freaks, David Fernandez...
Did you got it? It's Dead Fantasy! *throws confetti* Oh well, quit talking about rubbish~ *sweats*
Does any of you know "D.O.A" (Death or Alvie) and "Final Fantasy" ?
Yes, [Dead Fantasy] is another master piece from Monty Oum, a terrific incredible artist~
You can find his artwork at here.
Actually, I'm praising him and I found him few years back... Because he made my favorite characters from [Final Fantasy] and also from [D.O.A] into awesome videos~
I'll stop at here since I can't keep on bla bla bla about him by some of you might not knowing what am I talking about~
Instead, I will show you the videos~ I addicted to it like... I watch it once every week and really, I love it very much! xD
Of-course all these video doesn't belongs to me, it's all credited to Monty Oum~ ENJOY <3
Thursday, October 8, 2009
此刻,你心里想起谁。。。?
Once in a blue moon, wanted to add a Chinese wording post into my blog. I'm not in a good shape now so I will not translate this post, maybe next time.
此刻,你心里想起谁。。。?
是的,很熟悉对吧!这是一首来之我最仰慕以及崇拜的偶像,王力宏的曲子。
其实, 跟我的心情没什么关联。只是,我真的在想。。。
此刻,他的心里想起谁。昨晚也一样,很难入眠。心里的感觉像是柠檬的味道一样,酸溜溜的。。。
大约在床上翻来翻去了两个小时才进入梦乡。
真的很难入睡的我却又在睡醒之前梦见了他。
是他把我叫醒,我很想继续梦见他但我无法再进入同一个梦里面。就这样,心也是和昨夜一样酸溜溜的。。。
生气的狠狠的赏了自己一个耳光! 讨厌自己为什么忘不了他,对他又爱又不能爱。。。
我也突然发烧了,有那么巧合吗?! >.>
在这时。。。他在MSN里出现了,而且还和我谈起话来。
这。。。这是什么嘛~ 我的心也就这样忐忑不定了一整天。。。 T.T
说真的,明知道不可能就别勉强。。。 我也很坚持的,专注于自己的忙碌。。。
那又怎样!他还不是在我的脑子里面阴魂不散!
我真的越来越讨厌自己,为什么为了他弄得自己一整天没好好的过。。。>.>
拜托,别来烦我了啦~ 我想自己一个人好好的过。。。
不过还是自己的错,因为啊~是自己想得太多。。。 xD
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Draw With Me~
I was watching this video over and over again today, it just suit my mood today. This video link was sent to me twice from a very important person who're living apart from me. Despite our distances and separation, this V.I.P always cheers me up, makes my day. I'm so lucky to met this person and I would like to say thank you to my V.I.P^^ Thanks for being such a caring and lovely person~






