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Thursday, October 6, 2011

I want to REST!

I was working hard for so long~ really long...
After I served as an employee after a year, I took a 7 days rest within 2 weeks...
and I continue to work hard, even Saturday...
I know, I'm not self-center but my physical and mental are both tired!
I can't perform anymore if I keep working like this...
I request, a reasonable one, a proper rest day with an outing with my friends...
I can't believe I got questioned like a prisoner!
Enough is enough, I work for live, is not live to work...
I didn't sell my life to you, honestly I'm still working to the best as I can!
I got pressured by customers, by boss and now you came, you too giving me unneeded pressure!
If you think that I'm not deserved it, just do whatever you like to kick me out will do.
My life is still okay even without you, please bear in mind!

Regards,
From the very disappointed worker

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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Work vs Word

I choose to work, but I didn't choose to get scold.
No matter how nice the word I choose. still it can't help me with my work.
I manage my word however my word didn't work.
My work knocking me off with the word they used.
What should I do? Continue?
I admired and love TVXQ and JYJ so much!
I'm keeping myself to be strong like them!
They've been trough so many obstacles and they're still facing their new obstacles every minutes and every seconds.
Compare to them, mine is just a small stone!
I must keep my self work very well with my own word!
Fighting! Fighting! Fighting!

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Monday, September 26, 2011

Where is my future?

I always wonder, how it would be if I'm doing this, if I'm doing that.

Knowing that it will not become as what I expected myself to be, but this is how I always think...
Be myself!
Although while being myself I will lose myself too since sometimes I'm too considerable about others, sometimes I'm too forgetful!
Yes!
I do, because I'm keeping myself to think wise and living with the best happy mood as I can.
Somehow, it doesn't work since I got too many works to do!
My schedule is about work, work, work and work.
No matter how hard I try, still couldn't beat my inner-self.
While I'm working harder, my employer expect me to work much more harder.
While I need a rest, my employer expect me not to rest!
Am my life suppose to be like this? I'm trying to make a change, but I was worried too much and failed to bring myself to keep the balance in between work and my rest.
Am I suppose to stop now, or I suppose to move on?
Am I suppose to accept this, or I suppose to give-out?
Am I suppose to think twice, or I suppose to go ahead without thinking?
I've lost too much of precious time on my career, however without my career I couldn't move on my life.
My goal, is to get my dreams come true and to meet my goal, I need to work!!!!
Seriously, I need a break!



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Monday, June 13, 2011

难念的经。。。

人生,有很多选择。。。就是父母亲不能选,兄弟姐妹不能选。。。

坦白说,我的家庭虽然不完美,但是我还是抱着希望我的家庭能够和睦共处。。。
事实确是,希望本来很难实现。有人说,希望是能够实现,需要计划,需要行动,就能实现。
但为什么我想要我的家庭和平却没办法。。。
父亲离开了我们,留下了一大笔债务。母亲这个时候回来,我应该很高兴,但却带来更多的烦恼。哥哥那不负责任的态度和行为让我和妹妹们活在辛苦的屋檐下。我很高兴,妹妹们没有让我操心。但就因为母亲爱哥哥的这颗心及恨父亲的这颗心让我好难过好难过。。。
我很努力的替母亲找了一份能寄托的工作,她却还没放下那十几年没好日子过的埋怨,继续埋怨,她还没能接受不是少奶奶的事实,继续依赖。我和大妹都很辛苦,因为原来一个人如果再怎么不想行动,真的是不会付出行动。。。哥哥也一样的,每天说忙开会,但却一点家的负担都没扛下。小妹还想继续念书,我和大妹都很累了,却应为这都是我们的家所以我们还继续努力的工作。。。到底几时母亲和哥哥才会改变,我和妹妹们都已经尽力了。。。


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Sunday, May 15, 2011

My blog... My Diary...

I though I was long forgotten about my blog, but it seems like I often coming back without update it... It's my bad that my blog has lost its use as a blog while I did not return to types some alphabets on it! iPhailed!!!
It's been, almost a year... Since I started my career path, I've abandoned my own interest;Watch anime, listen music, active in forums, update blog, drink hot chocolate, cook breakfast and many more... What a big lost while I'm doing my job passionately at the same time I forgot about my own happiness unconsciously. In another way, I learn a lot! I met a lot of peoples, I face a lot of obstacles, I went trough a lot of issues... but I enjoyed it! From colleagues to friends, from friends to family...
I was once met a bunch of crazy peoples!
~They were my best partners in 'crime' xD We laugh together, sing together, eat together, drink together, sleep together, shout together, cry together, dance together! It was fun but soon I realized that, we will change. I'm glad that we're not changed dramatically, but change for our own good sake. They were so lovely and they're now a good couple! Wish they stay happy together!
~They were my best teammates xD We were in training together, went trough test together, answer calls together, work together, complain together, share our stories together! It was fun but soon realized that, our paths are different. Luckily each of us has found our own path and continue to shine. They were so nice and sweet peoples that we went trough hardship period! Wish we will continue to shine!
~He was such a good manager to me, he leaded a brighter future to me, to let me have a good future. We were so busy and went trough a lot of our first time! First time meeting with leaders, first time training with leaders, first time organize an event together, first time became emcee together, first time succeed a promotion together! It was fun but soon it ended, he went to another place for his good sake and I continue to walk my path, continue the task that has been assigned to me since we're a team.
~My beloved father, the most important person to me in my life... He went to a place that far away from me... Up to the high sky that i cannot reach, to watch me shine... Dear father, I love you so much! Although it was only twenty years you take care of me, but for me it's an eternal and the greatest love ever! You are such a 100% good father to me! I miss you so much! Every time when I'm down, every time when I'm lost, you will appear in my mind, to tell me to be strong, continue to walk my path and to make you proud! Thank you so much father! For being someone, who love me so much, please protect me as always! Father, rest in peace... I will be here to let you watch over me...

Here was my update for whole the year, so many happening, so many changes, so many happiness and so many sadness. I guess, this is the most memorable year ever...

Now I got a new manager, and also a team mate, soon will have more team mates. However because of my lake of public relationship skill, my presence has been erased by my own team mate and my manager as well. I'm wondering, will I still able to continue the path that my previous manager has believed in me. Hope that some day my new manager will see my performance and result. I'm tired, really tired... I'm so weak that I let others to erase my presence easily. I hope I can do better...
Now I got new friends, friends that really concern about my everything, they smile and cry with me! I don't know if they will be my best friends forever, I hope they will be the one...
Now I got new interest! Swim and gym! I prefer swim though, I can wear my cute swim suit!
The end of this post, is my most terrible high fever day... I hope I will come back to update more often, not to let my blog feel lonely =)

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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Rainbows

I don't know if consider today is a good day for me, however I was so happy before the dawn!
While on the way to my home sweet home after a tiring day in the evening 7pm...
I saw a rainbow, which isn't rare to see since my country known as a rain forest.
Rains will never away from this place like almost daily xD
So the rains made us rainbow~^.^


Today, rainbows made my day - Happy! lol
Awkward isn't? No body makes me happy but rainbows^.^
I saw a rainbow in the sky while I was enjoying the breezy air since it's raining after a hot day...
Without hesitation, I took out my iPhone and snapped the first photo.
I viewed my photo next and found that... It's double rainbows in the photo! O.O
Though it's a reflected from a wind screen of my car... >.>
Then I look at the sky again, doubly... Is that really a double rainbows? ...? o.O
My car moving forward while I'm doubting it, oh wow! =O
A double rainbows which I never seen in my life =D
I happily and can't wait to reach home~ XP
One of the rainbow is so huge and the other is darkening before I reach home.
I was like.. Oh jesus! Let me fly to home immediately with my car! lol



Finally I reached home! I intend to share this beautiful natural scenery with my friends then my snap photos mode activated xD
While I enjoying the scenery despite the rain is falling...
The rainbows like whispering at me to tell me to stop and try to be happy...
I was thinking while seeing the rainbow slowly covered by clouds and be gone in the sky....
I really need to be glad and be appreciate every seconds, every surrounding person, scenery...
Stop for a short while, take a look around... To enjoy the beautiful of the natural^.^
Sometime, I can't help myself to walk faster, move in speed, eats, works, talks... Not the god-speed-like but it's fast compare to other people around me...
This evening, the di-rainbows made me stopped O.o
Made me felt that I was missed out many good things around me... >.>
Regretting that I didn't use the time that I had to loves everyone around me... T.T
And the night falls...



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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

iPhailed

Well, I always think optimistically however... Sometime things just keep put you down again and again...
I was failed an assessment again today.
First thing, I was disappointed into myself because I didn't try my best after I looked back myself during doing the assessment.
Second, while my other assessment was segregate by leader to somebody, I heard a comment which was made me shocking!

"No no no! I don't want mark her assessment, it's a pain!"

Hell yeah, I admitted my handwriting isn't good and my explanation sucks >.>
Oh well, have to work harder! So... I continue to keep myself away from those negative comment, continued my day.
There it goes my day, finally in the evening I received a good news.
Which I got an offer by an employer, the pay is higher like 1.5 times from my current pay.
Next depressed comment that I heard while I share the so called good news to one of my sibling and I know my sibling's partner is looking for a vacancy...

"If you're interested let me know okay?" - My line =D

End up I got a reply from my sibling...

"Only that much of pay???" - =O

I, unconsciously move my way back into my room...




My godness! What a depressing day!


I realized it a long time ago, my income is nothing compare to my sibling however it's sad when I just happened to found my own sibling looked down at me.
I was embarrassed while I'm happily recommending the vacancy to the person who I wish to share the good thing with however...
._. however was put down by the person's partner a.k.a my sibling...
So tell me, how should I deal with this negative thoughts?
While I'm feeling happy is always the time my sibling to pull me down...

O.o my sibling???
I wonder... >.> I should stay alone inside my comfortable room instead though. >.<




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Thursday, April 8, 2010

Kuchiki Byakuya!






xD I love Kuchiki Byakuya! An epic awesome character in [Bleach] anime!
I made some siggies using him as render~

Sorry if my photoshop is epically phailed xD


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